I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
