In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
