sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize