it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
