Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
