id be glad to
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
