i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
