chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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