He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
