He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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