You smell like stripper and shame
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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