Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We need to get me chipped asap
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
