"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
