he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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