the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
