You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
