I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
