I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
