yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
