the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
