He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
3 2 1 whiskey
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
