I am in a vortex of obligation.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
