Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
