question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the liver wants what the liver wants
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
