I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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