next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
