Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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