Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
