I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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