So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
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