So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize