we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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