i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
