thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have tasted many bathrooms
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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