my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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