You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
