yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
