from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
