i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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