..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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