I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
