So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
