Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
