Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
