There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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