i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
