This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize