His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
