I didn't shave. On purpose
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
