so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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