Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
