matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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