WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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