we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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