I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
