I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
