Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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