it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The air was thick with penises
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
