You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
