And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
