My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
