i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
