Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
