I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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