She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
