i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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