I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
