New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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